Focusing vs Reality

When we receive a good news and a bad news, which one do we focus on? Which one sticks to our mind all day long? Which one can’t we stop thinking about? Which one determines our mood?

When we are spending time with a group of people and we have 2 “special” people in the group: one that we like very much and another one we dislike very much. Which person will determine our state of mood? Eventually, will we enjoy our group activity or not?

Do we have more good news or bad news in the media? Do more bad or good things happen to our world or we just have an inner need to focus much more on one kind?

When we get home in the evening, do we focus on the bad or good things that happened to us all day? If we had an awful day, do we focus on the terrible things that happened to us or do we work on to make a nice ending for our day?

Why?

Planning My Freedom

I have never really had plans for my life. One of my reasons to keep studying was to procrastinate the big decision making: what I really want to do in my life. And when I finished my studies, I still didn’t know what I wanted to become, so I just accepted whatever job, possibility came to my way. By now, I’ve become the artist of driftage.

In the last book I read there was a quotation that touched me: “If you don’t have plan for your life, somebody else does!” This is a scary statement, isn’t it? And it’s also true. I’ve been lucky in my life in many aspects, especially in this one: I’ve always had faith in myself (since my College Years), that whatever comes to my life, wherever I go and whatever I do, it will be good for me. I believed in this – and it just happened like this. But it’s time to change things; it’s high time to take control over my life.

One of the main reasons I haven’t had plans for my future was that I was afraid of losing my freedom. But I had to realize two things:

1. Plans are not carved into stones – I’m free to change them whenever it’s needed.
2. Having no plans isn’t freedom. I have freedom, when I am the one who makes choices – but in the last few years, it wasn’t me, it was (my) destiny that chose ways for me to follow.

Now it’s my turn to make choices, make plans for myself and to determine my destiny. And it’s easy. In order to make the right plans, I just need to find the answer for one simple question: What I truly want to do in my life? ;)

The Further We Go - The Closer We Feel?

My Brother & Me, 2008, NL

During having dinner, a childhood memory just came to my mind.

I was around 12 and our cousins visited us. We played a game in which we played against each others: 2 players against 2 players. My brother wanted to be with me, but I picked one of my cousins arguing that they are here only now, but I can play with my brother any time. And my little brother got upset and just told me „You always say that, but you’re never in the same team with me!”

He was right. I wanted to be in the same team, but I always „postponed it”, saying „Next time”. Now, we are 15 years older, playing different games around 7000km away from each others...

And I pay more attention to my brother now, and wondering how he’s doing oversea. I live 1500km away from my parents and I think more about them than I did when I lived only 160km away. I used to get complaints from my ex-girlfriends that I spent too much time with my friends and too little with them – which made them feel that friends are more important to me than they were. About the time, they were right. About the priority of importance – they were wrong. But I can understand them. Probably I spent more „special moment” with my friends and I just „killed the time” with my girlfriends – because of the same excuse I used for my brother: „We can share some moments together later...”

I wonder if it’s only me, or others also have the same experiences. If so, then why do we act like this? Why don’t we appreciate more the people who are next to us? We get excited to meet somebody again whom we haven’t seen for a long while, but how often do we get excited to meet the ones with whom we live together? How much do we appreciate & make use of the time what we can spend with each others?

The Basic Concept...

I was told if you write your thoughts out of your mind, you can make free spaces for new thoughts, ideas. Let's see if it's true! ;)